


i wish we met before

by jayhood



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood: Lost Days
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cassandra Cain and Jason Todd are Siblings, Gen, If you think Dick or Bruce are assholes here please consider, In Ethiopia at any case, It's also Jason's POV, It's not an Unrelliable Narrator situation either, Jason Todd is Lady Shiva's son, Jason Todd is Robin, Jason doesn't die, Jason's childhood friends make an appearance, Lost Days AU, Stephanie Brown is Robin, Stephanie Brown is Spoiler, Though don't take it wrong, Tim Drake is Robin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:29:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24568513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayhood/pseuds/jayhood
Summary: Jason Todd doesn't believe a word an adult says, truth serum or no truth serum. So when DNA test shows him Lady Shiva is his biological mother, he abandons his quest, choosing instead to help Batman apprehend the Joker.It changes things a lot and not at all.
Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Jason Todd
Comments: 69
Kudos: 232





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [fiesta-igloo](https://fiesta-igloo.tumblr.com/) prompted me on [Tumblr](https://redjaybathood.tumblr.com/post/620136611122987009/how-about-jason-and-cass-finding-out-their-related):  
> "How about Jason and Cass finding out their related (through Shiva?), its been done before but I'd like to see your take on it. Another one is a Jason lives au, and he passes on Robin to Steph, that be cool to see. Hope this inspires you!"  
> And, by gods, it did. It did.

1) “How long till we reach Gotham?” Jason asks, anxiety building up in him.

He thinks he would have felt better if he were down the hold with bound Joker than here in the cockpit with Br… Batman.

B doesn’t even glance his way like he’s busy with controls. It’s like he thinks Jason is stupid, like he forgot that there’s an autopilot on the Batwing. Jason _flew_ this fucking plane once.

“Ten minutes out,” Batman says.

Jason looks down at his clothes, pulls the fabric of his tunic from his chest. He should probably change.

“Okay,” he says, standing up. “You can drop me off at…”

Shit, he doesn’t really know where they could land this thing so Jason could slip out in civvies unnoticed.

“Drop you off,” Batman says flatly.

“It’s not like you need me to drop Joker at GCPD doorstep. He’s still out - probably will be for a while. I got him hard, huh.”

Superman kinda had to pull him off. Jason isn’t proud of that. Isn’t proud that he didn’t manage to crack the bastard’s skull before he was up in the air, swinging at the empty air, uncle Clark pulling his shoulders back, murmuring stupid useless things like “You got him, you can stop”, and “Batgirl wouldn’t want you to do it”. He really, really shouldn’t have stopped. Should have had a small green rock somewhere in his pockets (if his suit had pockets) just like da… Batman. Be prepared, constant vigilance, all that jazz.

“What do you mean, exactly, by drop you off.”

But he may be mentally unstable, good for nothing son of a junkie and a pusher (son of an assassin and a henchman, actually; what’s next? Is his grandmother a criminal mastermind? Thank god he doesn’t have siblings). But he’s not paranoid. So he doesn’t have Kryptonite on him. So he stops struggling. And also, maybe Sups is right: wouldn’t Barbie want to do it herself when she’s good and ready? And she’s going to be. She’s going to be just fine. She’s going to recover.

“Jason. Jason, I’m talking to you.”

But she never gonna walk again. Jason should have gone for the neck.

Jason glances at the back of the plane but there’s really no time for it. He changes into a sweatshirt and jeans. Rummages at his backpack. When he finds what he’s looking for, he hesitates. It’s not that he wants to keep it. He grew complacent in the last few years, but he’s not useless. The only reason he took it was because he was on a timetable.

“Jason, look at me. _Robin_!”

That’s a fucking lie. There was nothing urgent to this trip, even if at the time it felt vital. In the end, it turned out he might have as well stayed home (in Gotham, not the Manor; the Manor ceased being home the second Garzonas hit the pavement).

“Catch!”

Jason throws the credit card at Bruce. Finger-guns at him, grins.

“Thank you for financing my little vacation. They offer free champagne in the first class, and flight attendants? Fi-ine as hell.”

Batman pushes the button that makes the Batwing stop and hover above the old water tower in the outskirts of Gotham. He’s halfway out of his seat when Jason gulps down every other thing and kicks the hatch.

He turns back and winks.

“That’s my name, B. Don’t wear it out!”

He jumps.

He’s pretty sure Batman tried to grab him, but when he lands and looks up, the hatch is already closed.

Oh well. It’s not like he wanted Bruce to try and stop him.

2) It’s fucking insulting, that’s what it is. A chipmunk in Jason’s suit is running around _his_ city!

Karma, Dick would probably say. Only, Dick already upgraded to his ultra-fashionable Discowing suit at the time. Jason still holds onto a red two-piece with a yellow-black cape. He just… hadn’t exactly had time to go _out_ out.

He’s not living on the streets so much anymore as he has a job now, washing dishes and sometimes waiting tables at, wait for it, _Red Robin_. It was maybe the toughest three months in his life where he slept in rafters of his high school theater club, showered in the locker room, and ate once a day in the cafeteria (hey, his lunches were paid for the whole year in advance by his ex-benefactor, he might as well take advantage of it). But now he’s renting a room with two other guys, English majors from Gotham U. Still, between the job, and trying to ace every class and living his dream of becoming a stagehand in modernized production of the bard himself _and_ preparing himself for the next year baseball tryouts, he barely has time for sleep nowadays. And he can’t drop any of it. Because, let’s be real, the only way he goes to college now is if his application is - not perfect; he’s Jason Todd, it’s never going to be perfect; but as good as he can make it.

So, okay! He didn’t take the Robin suit out for six months. But he’s _not dead_ or anything. The upstart who had the gull?.. About to be.

Only, shit, someone got to him first. Jason winces in a fit of involuntary sympathy when the brick hits the face. Damn, that girl has quick reflexes.

He makes sure to land close enough for her to see him coming while being still outside the brick reach.

“Imma friendly,” he says, keeping his hands up.

“Sure you are,” the girl in purple cape says.

She notably does not let go of the brick. The boy on the ground notably doesn’t even stir. That’s mildly concerning, actually.

Jason gesticulates at the boy, then presses two fingers to his own neck, then raises his brows at the girl. She inclines her head and raises a shoulder, taking a step back.

While Jason checks the boy’s pulse, and it takes a while because he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, first aid for some reason wasn’t on his Bat-curriculum, the girl clears her throat.

“So, is there a convention I don’t know about?” She clearly is aiming for levity but as arrives at awkward. Jason can relate. She doesn’t stop trying, so that’s a point in her favor. “If he’s Robin, who are you supposed to be? Red Robin?”

“That would be stupid,” he says. “I don’t want to get sued. No, I’m Robin, and he’s just…”

He trails off, trying and failing to take the mask off. With a sinking heart, and ignoring the girl behind him shouting “What are you doing?”, he takes out a small bottle of solvent, the Batman-grade stuff he nicked before blowing that joint. It’s the only chemical compound that dissolves the Bat-glue. It also doesn’t do shit to anything else. He applies it. The mask comes off because _of course it does_.

“You can’t just - unmask him!”

“Don’t look if it’s so morally objectionable to you that I’m trying to find out if he has a fucking concussion,” he says.

He also 100% sure that if this kid is on the streets under Batman’s blessing, then he knows who Jason Todd is, so it’s only fair. Or would be, if he had any clue at all who this is.

The kid is out of it but comes in when Jason slaps him lightly. Jason grabs penlight and shines it into the wannabe… no, the third-time-is-the-charm’s eyes. It doesn’t look great: the kid gulps the air, but doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even try to shove Jason away. And pupils are supposed to be the same size, aren’t they?

“Oh.”

The girl exhales somewhere very close to Jason’s ear. Apparently, she doesn’t find it morally objectionable after all, and judging by her voice, she also knows the kid.

She also knows a lot more about first aid than Jason, because she shoves him away and starts disinfecting and bandaging the head wound. Which, Jason didn’t even notice the kid bleeding.

But what Jason does have, is a cell phone. And, he’s a responsible adult here (he’s still a year from being a _legal_ adult but functionally he is, living on his own and all). He does the responsible thing: he calls the ambulance.

“You can’t!”

That’s the first thing the kid says. He also tries to stand but the girl gently puts a stop to it.

“Name one fucking reason,” Jason bares his teeth. “Name one fucking thing that’s more important than you not croaking on us right here and now.”

“I’m not going to die,” the kid sounds insulted. “Just take me to Leslie. I’m in a suit, I can’t afford to go to a regular hospital.”

“You _literally_ can afford it,” the girl scoffs. “That I can’t afford, is being charged with murder or assault if you have a hemorrhage.”

The kid still tries to protest, tries to call Batman, but he’s weak as a kitten now. Jason has no trouble taking the comm away and stomping on it for a good measure. He takes away everything half-way incriminating, for safe-keeping, and when the EMTs arrive, he leaves the kid at their capable hands. _Cosplayer_ , he explains. _Kids these days_.

The girl still waits on the roof where he left her.

“Why didn’t you let your mini-me call your boss?” she asks.

It’s hard to say under the mask but Jason imagines she’s squinting at him. Judging.

“I should say it’s for his own good,” Jason says and sighs. “But truth? Me and B just aren’t on speaking terms anymore.”

“So he’s less of mini-you and more new-you, huh,” she says, perching on the railing on the edge of the rood. “I guess that’s one way to file a formal complaint.”

Their friendship kinda spins from there.

3) No, actually, Spoiler thinks he’s a dick for a while. She dislikes Tim Drake more (that’s the kid’s name, and he’s only two years younger than Jason so not really a kid but whatever). But that doesn’t mean she likes Jason those first days after their acquaintance.

It’s whatever. He has a lot on his plate as is. Not literally, sadly: taking up the vigilante job again means he has to get fewer shifts at the restaurant. And that limits his grocery money considerably.

What he rather means is, Batman and Nightwing are on his case now. See, at first, he thinks it’s because he blew Drake’s identity more or less. He can’t wear green, red and yellow anymore. No convenient traffic light-colored sidekick anymore.

But then Nightwing straight-up jumps Jason when he’s grappling from one building to another. They crash-land, well, Jason crash-lands, Dick sticks to the landing as always. Jason doesn’t bother to even say “What the fuck, dude?” because Dick has his escrima sticks out.

But Dick seems to be in a talkative mood because instead of attacking he says:

“See, I told B this would happen when he took you in.”

Jason is pretty sure that the last time they saw each other, Dick said he was going to be a great Robin, and gave him his number. Jason even tried to call it - right before he caught a plane to Africa. The subscriber was outside of reach, though.

“Gee, Golden Boy, tell me how you really feel,” he says.

As Dick doesn’t seem to want to beat him up right this second, Jason leans against a wall, crossing his hands. He would prefer to sit, actually, but that would put him at an even worse disadvantage.

“He gave you _everything_ ,” Dick says, with something like a wonder in his voice, which quickly turns to anger. “And you just spat in his face instead. Kicking criminals off the roof, stealing from him, running away, and now attacking someone weaker than you? Someone who actually _asked_ me before putting on _my_ suit?”

“Attacking…” Jason shakes his head. What? “Kicking criminals off the roof?”

He laughs. He might be hysterical a little.

“So, B said I killed Garzonas? Wonder why he didn’t turn me in then.”

“Because he loves you, you piece of work.”

Jason pushes himself off the wall with some difficulty.

“Did you hit your head too lately? Because from where I’m standing, B has one great love in his life, and it’s capital J - Joker. You know, when I had my hands on him, six months ago, like a month after he shot and… After he did that to Bar… Batgirl. I had my hands on Joker! And he had a choice, command Superman to fly the nuke off into deep, deep space where it could have detonated safely, or tell him to save Joker while he was tinkering with the bomb that, oh, that’s right, could have gone off at any fucking minute.”

Jason’s breath still catches when he thinks about it. At the hit of the moment, he didn’t really understand what’s going on, didn’t really realize how close they all be to… He closes his eyes and shakes his head.

“You know what? If you think I killed Garzonas, if you think _I_ attacked your precious _protégé_ , go ahead and apprehend me. I won’t even fight. Have fun trying to prove anything though - all the while blowing B’s identity wide open. Because that’s what stopped him, you sweet summer child.”

Dick bares his teeth at him.

“He was only trying to help,” he says. “The kid, he just - you never noticed what B was like after you ran away? After you betrayed him? He was losing it, every night on the streets, hitting harder, taking hits that shouldn’t even come close to landing on him. B thought he failed you, and it was _literally_ going to kill him. _You_ didn’t care, the kid did. He came to me, begging to come back to Gotham. Because Batman needs a Robin.”

Jason doesn’t know what Batman needs but once upon a time, he had thought he needed _Jason_.

“I wasn’t on the streets because I was trying to get off the streets,” Jason says instead. “And this is going exactly nowhere. Just tell me, did the kid say I hit him?”

“Yes,” Dick says, with only the shortest pause. “You attacked, unmasked, and robbed him and would probably do who knows what else if Spoiler didn’t save him.”

Either Tim Drake was a lying piece of shit, or he didn’t really remember the whole thing, and what snatches he did remember painted a picture not exactly in Jason’s favor.

But that’s fine. Better him than Spoiler.

“Does he want to press charges? No? Then I’m outta here. And look, I promise the moment you guys have any real solid evidence against my wrongdoing, I’m going to go ahead and turn myself in nice and quiet. But you go after me on assumption? I will do the same thing, but I won’t be exactly quiet, alright?”

Dick lets him go, after a few choice words.

It’s - whatever. It’s not like Dick knows he was bluffing; he doesn’t want him or Bruce dead in a ditch somewhere, or Alfred, which is the likeliest scenario if the word got out who was hiding under Batman’s cowl.

So he’s safe. He thinks.

4) And then he goes to school in the morning and finds out he doesn’t go there anymore.

He causes a small ruckus in the office. A student, sharp-eyed blonde girl a year behind him, who works there part-time, looks like he’s the best show she saw this year. All the while he slowly loses his mind trying to find out who withdrew him (his father; shoulda guessed it) and where his documents were transferred to.

Brentwood fucking academy.

When he throws his hands up and goes home, he finds that police are there. And yeah, okay, technically, he’s underage, and Batman could just file a missing person report. That’s exactly why he used a fake ID, social security number, and credit record. So he cuts his loses and leaves behind all his mortal worldly possessions except for what’s in his backpack, and the suit. He has caches in the city. One with his suit, several that also contain money and regular clothes and some non-perishable food.

“I can’t believe I’m homeless again,” he groans that night after he and Spoiler spoil a robbery.

Technically, one of them would have been enough to take down a Riddler-junior and his crew but Jason can’t argue that working together frees up a few additional hours of sleep. Which they don’t actually use because they’re having heart-to-heart instead.

"Technically, Brentwood is a boarding school, so you can, you know, just go with it. But wow,” Spoiler says. “That’s Tim Drake’s new school. You either have the shittiest luck, or your dad really hates you.”

“Eh, a little bit of both,” Jason gestures. “I mean, maybe he doesn’t hate me. More like, he thinks I’m going to end up in prison sooner or later. Just like my father. The other one. Or maybe he thinks I’m one breath away from embarking on the glorious career of an assassin, like my mom. Or become a drug addict, like my other mom.”

“How many parents _do_ you have?”

Jason shrugs.

“Currently alive? Two. The ones I’m on speaking terms with? Zero.”

Spoiler knocks her shoulder into his.

“Same.”

“Their loss,” Jason says.

Freezes.

“Don’t take it the wrong way,” he says slowly. “But can I touch you?”

“Uh,” and Jason understands Spoiler’s hesitation, he really does. “What way should I take?”

Jason rolls his eyes and points with his chin at her glove.

“Take it off. And touch my armor.”

Because that’s what it is, actually. Not just a suit, it’s a fully functional armor that may not be able to stop a high-caliber bullet or the League’s knife but it has Kevlar fiber interwoven in it. He really hopes he’s mistaken, but when they touched just now, for the first time since their acquaintance, it felt like her suit is really just a costume. Something his (ex now, he supposes) drama club could have found in their wardrobe.

When he explains it to Spoiler, she snaps at him.

“Well, not everyone has daddies rich enough to afford Brentwood and what else.”

Jason has to admit she has a point but…

“It’s not a dig,” he explains patiently. “Actually, I have a proposition. How do you feel about robbing Batman?”

She doesn’t feel good about the word “robbery”, actually, so Jason has to cajole and explain that it’s not really a robbery but more like, he has enough of that stuff that nobody currently uses anymore anyway, and won’t, if Jason has anything to say about it. And it’s also something of a poetic justice-revenge thing, because, Jason says, Batman ratted him out to his father.

“That’s how he knew how to find me and anything,” he says. “I mean, he knew which high school I attended anyway but the apartment, and my work, that he didn’t know. And he didn’t call me even once, all this time, and now he switches my schools? After I attacked Batman’s new guy?”

“That was an accident,” Spoiler is frowning, Jason thinks. “My accident. Drake was tailing me, I got slightly paranoid, and when he made a move, I just… reacted.”

“Don’t let them know,” Jason says resolutely. “If they hate me so much after, like, three years of loyal service? I don’t want to know what they will do to you. At best, if they believe it wasn’t a malicious act, they would try to stop you from doing the Spoiling. Because they’re going to think you’re incompetent.”

“I am not.”

“I know that! We busted a crime ring tonight together. But they, Batman, Nightwing, whoever else they would enlist… They really are used to look down on people. He thinks he can control who operates in his city, and you know what? He actually can, I just think he shouldn’t.”

Jason clears his throat. He is getting sidetracked.

“Anyway. He’s a dick, he doesn’t need it, he can afford to lose it, and you do need it, and really can’t afford to buy it on your own. Can you?”

“That’s going to make me just as bad as the criminals we stop, wouldn’t it?” Spoiler says it in a really small voice.

Like someone said it to her once, and she believed it.

Like when Batman said that Jason has to rein himself in because he pucked too much power in a hit. That punching too hard - that going over that line Batman drew for himself and everyone else kinda got to jump back and forth over, - would make Jason just as bad as them. That Jason killing Joker, if he succeeded in it, would have made Jason somehow even _worse_.

“I woulda absolutely buy it,” Jason says. “If I didn’t see first-hand catch-and-release game Batman plays with Catwoman.”

He stands up and gives Spoiler his hand.

“You can go with me, or not. I’m heisting the shit out of Batcave anyway. I’m giving you the armor anyway. If he doesn’t catch me and beat me red and blue, of course.”

He feels a little bit bad about the last sentence. No matter B’s faults, Jason doesn’t believe he would have ever raised a hand at him. Nightwing, on the other hand, if he’s still around somewhere…

Anyway. Spoiler takes his hand.

5) Jason really thought B’s going to upgrade security measures after Jason ditched him. At least delete his access rights. But Jason’s code to Batcave still works. Maybe, he was recycling credentials for Drake, of course, banking on Jason’s pride preventing him from going back here.

What does he know? That life taught Jason is, sometimes you’re so hungry you have to swallow your pride to get through the day, and the next, and the next. And today wasn’t that kind of day, but Jason’s pride was flexible enough.

Today he caught a knife thrown at Spoiler’s back. And by caught, he meant he had to jump forward of its trajectory. Next time, he could be _not there_. And then, there won’t be a _next_ next time for Spoiler. Which is a real crime here, anyway.

“See,” he says with more cheer than he feels. “I have keys, so we’re not even breaking and entering.”

They are supposed to be in and out, but Jason lets Spoiler kinda gape for a full minute at the dinosaur, and the Penny, and everythingness of the Cave.

He lets her wander while he gets all the materials and tools they would need.

“Jason,” he hears Spoiler, “What the fuck is this?”

It’s Jason’s question exactly. But when he goes to her, it’s “How does she know his name?”, and when he arrives at her side and looks at the glass case she’s pointing at, it becomes more of “What _the fuck_ is this.”

Because it’s his suit, and a golden plaque, reading “ _Jason Todd. Good Soldier_ ”.

He touches the glass gently.

“That’s Batman being lying liar who lies,” he says. “I am no good, and I was never a soldier. And I’m not dead yet!”

He punches the glass. It doesn’t shutter but something in his fist probably cracks.

Spoiler hands him a cold pack from the infirmary.

“Nice to meet you, Jason,” she says. “My name is Stephanie Brown.”

6) Jason doesn’t go to Brentwood in the morning, obviously. Steph invites him to crash at hers. Her dad is not going to be home, she promises. Her mom won’t care.

She can’t skip the school herself though. So she goes - and, who would have thought, she’s that girl from the school office. So he didn’t really blow his cover, she recognized him already, his voice specifically, and his recounting of this sad, sad tale to someone who witnessed the half of it, just clinched it.

He feels a little better after realizing it, so he sleeps. And when he wakes up, he grabs the paper and does some sketches, and a rough sewing pattern. He can’t do a real thing yet without Steph’s input or measurements. It’s more of something to pass the time.

While he’s at it, he tries to design a suit for a young and not terribly tall or muscular man.

He never wants to put his uniform on again.

He tells Steph that when she comes back, showing her his work.

“So what, you think I do?” she asks, glaring at the Robin skirt.

“I don’t want the name to disappear,” he says. “And I want someone like Drake’s grabby hands all over it even less.”

Steph shares the sentiment even if she won’t tell him why.

They work the rest of the day and through the night, too. When it’s done, Jason feels, for the first time in a long, long while that he did something right.

Steph will make a good Robin.

On that note, Jason leaves her, promising to meet her this evening. He is going to meet Batman, now. Batman may be mad for what they stole, but he has something to answer for too. And Jason is going to milk that resemblance of a moral high ground for all its worth and more, if it helps to get B off their backs, especially Stephanie’s. She’s kinda an innocent bystander in all of this.

Or maybe he’s just

(he doesn’t finish the thought; that’s because an earthquake hits Gotham; a piece of debris hits Jason on the head; Jason dies, never actually allowing himself to think that maybe he and Bruce can talk, like normal people, that maybe Bruce, in his own way, cares; and maybe it’s better that way if you account for everything that transpires after he comes back)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet someone, you lose someone. Stephanie wishes that life didn't pretend to follow the laws of equal exchange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned to write the next chapter after I deal with the rest of the prompts, but [fiesta-igloo](https://fiesta-igloo.tumblr.com/) made this amazing [sketch](https://redjaybathood.tumblr.com/post/620304505285787648/redjaybathood-i-wish-we-met-before-prompted-by) I just had to make a chapter from Stephanie's POV.

1) "Where did you get this?" Batman demands.

Steph refrains from tugging at her new uniform self-consciously. Maybe she and Jason should have dyed the fabric before sewing the suit, but they were overcome by a sense of urgency, then. What if Batman found them and tried to take it back? Now, when it's fashioned into a tunic and breeches that won't fit anyone but her, it's not a concern, unless Batman is that petty.

"Do you really want me to return it  _ now _ ?" she asks, helping another child to get out of the hole. 

The floor shakes a little with the movement. It could crumble at any second. Steph isn't worried she falls. That's always a possibility on Gotham streets. But she really doesn't want the ceiling of the room one floor down to cave in even more. She passes the child to Batman who's standing further away, wary of coming closer and adding the weight to the unstable construction. While he's whisking the child away to the relative safety of the street outside, where, hopefully, someone with medical skills and proper first aid kit awaits, Steph lowers the harness down, so the next kid could be pulled up.

Steph's arm muscles are screaming at her, so when Batman comes back and speaks again, it's almost a relief. A distraction.

"Did you see him? When? Was he alright?"

"Why do you care?" she scoffs.

He doesn't, obviously, Jason told her all about it. To think, she used to look up to him. Dreamed about him saving her from her father. But in the end, all fathers are the same. She saved herself, same as Jason.

"Of course I care," Batman says with anger. 

The kid Steph just pulled out from the hole in the floor flinches in her hands, and Steph turns to glower at Batman. He looks down at his hands, unclenches the fists slowly.

"Of course I care," he says softly. "I tried everything I could think about. He didn't want to live with me anymore because my lifestyle put too much pressure at him - or because he was just fed up with me. I gave him space."

"That's what kicking someone out means now?" Steph says, passing him another kid.

Kid doesn't really look like he wants to go to Batman and, shit, maybe they should leave the conversation to another time. When they aren't risking freaking out already terrifying children even more.

Batman, apparently, thinks the same, because he doesn't offer anything more, even if he looks like he wants to.

When the rest of the kids are safely out, Steph hesitates. What if someone is down there? Unconscious, or trapped under the rubble, or just too scared to move or say anything.

She almost jumps down, just to be sure, when she hears the swoosh of the cape again.

"Robin," she hears Batman say. "There's no more life signs at this building."

Stephanie knows what this means. This orphanage is supposed to house thirty kids age from five to ten. Fifteen of them managed to evacuate with stuff. Ten of them she pulled right now.

She doesn't know why Jason thought that the better armor will make her job easier. The best it did was stop a piece of rebar from impaling her.

2) Okay, so Batman doesn't want it back, what they appropriated from the Cave.

He wants two things: boss her around and talk to her about Jason.

It's made clear when they're finished taking care of the kids, got them to the relief center, and Batman doesn't leave but instead points to the roof of a stable looking building. She nods. They will rendezvous there.

He's already there when she finishes climbing all the stairs.

"You need to work on your endurance," he says, his lips turn down as he watches her panting.

Steph refrains from flipping him the bird this time. She wants to clear the air first.

"I'm not giving it back," she says. "It's mine, now. Jason gave it to me. And if you're pissed at me because we broke into your lair and stole the fabric and stuff..."

"It's not a break-in if you have a key," Batman echoes Jason's words. For a second there, he looks like he's almost smiling. "It was his, anyway."

"I thought you adopted yourself another lost boy in his place," Steph says with suspicion.

Tim Drake, she remembers bitterly. The smartest boy at her school, before he transferred to the rich boy one. The one who stalked her for a week, even inserting himself into her patrol, berating her for taking a soda from a corner store she helped to save from a robbery. The one who one evening startled her so much, she threw a brick at him.

"No," Batman doesn't elaborate. Instead, he changes the topic. "I can't find him anywhere."

"Maybe he doesn't want to be found by you," Steph grumbles. "Or maybe he doesn't expect you to look for him at all, because you never showed interest in it before - before you came and trumped your Batboots all over the life he built."

"I always knew where he was," Batman says. And it has to be a lie. "I gave him space. But then he started to patrol again. He slept less, ate worse, his money would barely cover the rent. His grades started slipping. I did what I have to. He can tell me how much he hates me to my face. I just need to know he is alright."

There's almost a real human emotion in his voice.

"Sorry, can't help you," Steph says more flippantly than she feels because she really can't, and that is kinda worrying.

The last she saw Jason was an hour before the earthquakes started.

She turns to leave but Batman stops her with the hand on her shoulder.

"I meant it," he says. "Robin is Jason's. Now it's yours, too. I won't make you stop..."

Steph scoffs. Like he could!

"But I can't let you do it alone. There's a group of us, we have resources, experience, and coordination. You should join us."

"Or what?" Steph narrows her eyes on him.

Batman shakes his head.

"Nothing. It's your choice. But there are some people you should meet before deciding one way or another."

3) Oracle is awesome.

Cassandra is even better.

Nightwing she could do without, Agent A puzzles her because he seems like a chill dude and  _ yet _ . There's Tim Drake, too, going by the name Drake, if you can believe it. Like no one could put two and two together, especially after the infamous trip to ER.

She apologizes for it, actually. He is surprised.

"It's you who hit me? But I thought..."

He trails off. Exchanges a look with Nightwing, who rubs the bridge of his nose.

"I fucked up," he says to no one. "He should have said something. Why didn't he..."

He doesn't finish the thought either. There's no really a time or place for that.

For the next - however long it all drags, actually. Stephanie isn't sure. The days seem endless and going by too fast at the same time. There's No Man Land, there's the aftermath.

And all this time, nobody sees or hears Jason.

Until the relief efforts in Gotham are in full swing, businesses opening, people coming back, fallen buildings restored, debris and rubble cleared away.

He wasn't in his Robin suit. Of course, he wasn't, he gave the Robin away to Steph.

"It's not your fault," Barbara says. She obviously just wants to make Steph feel better. "It was a hit to the head. Your suits don't cover that area."

"Maybe they should," Steph murmurs.

She doesn't change a thing in hers, though.

4) The funeral is bigger than Jason would have expected, Steph thinks.

Bruce invited her and Barbara but not Cass. Dick is there too, looking absolutely crushed, so much that Tim has to help him stand. It makes Steph too angry to look at them, so she slides her eyes through the rest of the crowd.

There's the drama club, some guys from his place of work. His former roommates. There's Rena, an upperclassman who shared AP English with Jason and, apparently, a joint, once. There's a kid with red hair that isn't from their school. Eddie, he introduces himself. They were pen-pals.

Recently, they even graduated to phone calls but with the costs of long-distance calls, those were scarce. They were planning to meet up, the summer before college. 

Steph and he exchange email address too, in the end. It seems important somehow to keep this fragile connection going: after Jason died, there have to be at least two people who knew him how he was. Not Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne's son. Not Jason Todd, good soldier. But just Jason.

There is also a woman, who stands far away from anyone else and doesn't speak with others. Bruce nods jerkily at her when he sees her. She turns away.

Bruce himself looks even less human than in his cowl. Alfred makes the eulogy before they lower Jason into the ground, right beside his mother's grave. All this time, Bruce doesn't speak. Stephanie didn't hear him utter a word after he found out. Words tend to lose meaning, Steph supposes, when the one you needed to say it isn't around anymore.

At the wake, she slips downstairs, to the Cave. Bruce is there.

The glass case is broken. Bruce's knuckles are bloody.

"Why did you even make this thing?" she can't help but ask.

She knows it bugged Jason very much. She needs to know why Jason died thinking he was never a son to this man.

Bruce's lips quirk. When he talks, it's in a deliberately slow way drunk people get when they're trying not to slur words together.

"It was supposed to be symbolic," he says. "I understood just recently then, that what I was doing, making him Robin instead of - instead of just letting him live, and grow, and be happy... It was harming him. That's why I was planning to bench him. Not to fire him, no. Just give him a respite from this terrible burden. Having to face things that hurt him before. That were hurting other people, people who reminded Jason of himself. When he left, I put it up to remind me of what I thought as my greatest failure. That he was fighting the good fight, giving it his all. More than I should have asked of him. I swore to myself that there's going to be no more Robin."

"And then you gave it away to someone else."

Bruce laughs now, a broken sound. Steph shivers.

"I didn't. Tim stole it to save my life. I just... didn't make him return it."

He sobers quickly. His frowning when he picks up a bottle from the floor. Looks at it for a beat, then drinks what's left of the liquor in three big gulps. 

Puts it down. Sits down, too, with the broken glass around and all. Hugs his own knees. 

"I suppose I was trying to replace Jason, subconsciously. Missed him too much. Didn't reach out anyway because I told myself it was better that way, that Jason stays away from me and this life. But missed him like air. He's  _ my son _ , you know?" His face crumbles. "He was my son."

He's crying now, openly. Not sobbing, but tears are running down his face, and he does nothing to hide it.

"Then Tim returned the suit, I put it back in the glass. Should have taken it down. Should have tracked him down and made him go back. Should have told him. Should have..."

He stops abruptly, wipes his eyes. Turns to Stephanie. Asks, almost begging.

"Do you think he knew I love him?"

Steph helps him stand up. Checks that he's not bleeding from a piece of glass wedged somewhere in his leg or a butt cheek. Cleans and bandages his knuckles.

She recalls, suddenly, her mother. 

"You know I love you?" she would sometimes say, frantic, having taken something that didn't agree with her, made her feel worse instead of better. "You know, right? I'm not a bad mother, am I?"

And Steph doesn't know it at all at these moments. Steph is sure that she doesn't, not really, otherwise she would get better, leave dad.

But she knows another thing. Something she would say in reply, not a lie, but as much truth as she can without making things worse.

"I know he loved you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, it answers some questions you guys had after the previous chapter!  
> Sorry, there's so little Cass so far. But we had some nice suprise cameos, didn't we?
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parents, Jason thinks, have a funny definition of what's the best for their children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the chapter count just keeps rising with every other update. I swear I planned just two parts but it seems like there's going to be at least four.

1) When he comes to, everything is too much.

The sounds, the smells. The greenish lights at the walls of the cave. The pulls of her hand at his.

He wants to rear back, to strike her, to make her let go. Crawl back into the waters, breathe it all in. Return to the blissful quiet. But she pleads:

"We need to run, I don't know what he will do to me if he finds us here!"

And Jason doesn't want to be the reason she sounds like this. Jason doesn't want to be someone who makes anyone sound like this. He runs.

They fight their way out. It's good: all the buzzing feeling inside his veins that makes him want to claw his skin off, it gets a reprieve when he's hitting someone else.

Running is good, too. His lungs are burning, his muscles scream, he never went that fast before. Now he's the one who's dragging her after him. He sees the edge of the cliff, and he's ready, he's free and he's ready to make the jump, even if he doesn't know if there's water below or sand or rocks, he wants to jump as high as he will go and fly.

But she stops. 

"Talia?" he says, turning to her.

She throws her backpack at him, looks over her shoulder there's more black-clad servants of the League circling them now. Takes a step back.

He knows that she's going to do.

"No," he says. "Talia, please! Come with me!"

"Your mother is waiting for you," she says instead and pushes him off the cliff.

2) Jason makes the rendezvous point in time. She's right there, waiting for him in the hotel room Talia booked under his alias. Lady Shiva, Sandra Wusan. The woman who left him behind. The woman who denied his very existence. His mother.

He didn't think he cares but now, when he sees her, his limbs start to move without conscious thought.

It's a short fight. Shiva subdues him quickly, makes a sharp clucking sound with her tongue, ridicules his technique. 

"Never start a fight angry, it makes you telegraph your movements too much."

That's how the first lesson starts.

3) For all he despises Shiva, for all that he vows to never call her mother - Catherine Todd was his mother, no other - Jason has to admit that she has something going for her.

Shiva never pretends to care about him. It makes it easier to handle her disappointment. And he knows that she's never going to betray his trust: he will never be a fool enough to trust her.

4) She kills people.

She even has a whole cult following of crazy fanatics who are willing to kill in her name. Be killed by her. It's sick, it's revolting - and there's nothing Jason could do about it.

"Just try and stop me," she encourages.

It's what keeps him by her side. He fights her - never wins, of course, but he learns from her. Some day, he promises himself, he is going to be good enough. Some day he's going to stop her.

At times, when she notes his progress with something like approval in her voice, it seems like it's what she wants, too.

5) There are times when it's easy to remember she's human. Like tonight. They're sitting in a living room of her most recent kill. Jason nurses his bruised ribs with a cold pack. Shiva drinks tea.

"Do you resent me?" she asks suddenly.

Jason gives her a stink eye.

"You deliberately held off killing him to give me time to get here," he explains slowly. "Just to see me trying to stop you."

"And you made a valiant effort today," she says. "I had to immobilize you with the nerve strike to complete my mission. But that is not what I am talking about. Do you resent me for leaving you with Willis?"

Jason closes his eyes. It's a while before he trusts himself to speak, though, in the end, his voice does betray him.

"I don't think you should be forced to care for children you don't want. So I get why you did that. I just... I didn't ask to be born, you know? It would be easier if I didn't. Better, for everyone. So I guess I just don't understand why you did it."

"You not being born wasn't an option. And you did get off easy," she says, putting her cup down. "You will see it, one day."

6) Shiva doesn't forbid him from checking the news or trying to contact what left of his life in Gotham.

Jason doesn't want to. He isn't ready to see the casualty toll. The list of names of people who didn't make it. Stephanie could be on that list. Alfred.  _ Bruce _ .

And there won't be anyone to hold accountable.

7) One night, when Shiva slips away from him, he considers not going after her.

The only way he can possibly stop her is if he murders her.

Not kill her in battle, he's not good enough for that, he is starting to think that he's never going to be good enough. It's futile to even try. A part of him dies with every next victim. He became desensitized to death, now. It's a struggle to remember why he's even trying.

But murder? A poison she showed him once, without taste or smell. A car bomb. A deal with a demon: his soul in exchange for hers. That could work.

He goes. He sees that she waited for him. She's still playing with her food: she never went after helpless, innocent people. Every victim had fought back. Every victim had killed before, would kill again if lived. Shiva likes it that way. Someone who could give her a real fight, or as close as it gets for the best martial artist in the world.

The man she's fighting now is visibly tired, his swings sluggish, his reaction pretty sluggish. He's bleeding. One arm is broken. Eyes dazed. He looks like Jason feels. Like he doesn't really know why he still goes on.

It would be better for him if he accepted his fate. It would be over in seconds.

It would be mercy, he thinks after Shiva tosses the man into another wall. It would be painless if he just hit the side of his throat with the sharp of his hand.

Jason meets Shiva's eye for a second before shutting his eyelids and lowering himself to the ground.

He hears a hit, hears the man falling down. Hears only two people breathing in the room, now.

"What is wrong with me?" Shiva asks, almost with wonder in her voice.

She winds his hair around her hand, pulls his head back so he has to look at her.

She's frowning.

"Why are my children all so weak?"

Jason's breath hitches. Shiva clucks her tongue and strikes at the point of his neck.

Jason blacks out.

8) When he opens his eyes, he sees Talia.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I thought she would protect you."

He knows she did, he sees the guilt and regret in her eyes. He allows her to help him drink before lowering his head back at the pillows.

"Parents, in my experience, have a funny definition of protection."

He sees Talia flinch, out of the corner of his eye.

9) "What do you know about my siblings?" he asks point-blank.

The overcrowded cafe in London may not be the best place to have this conversation but it's what Jason has.

They meet once per month, rarer if Jason is tied up in a case. Currently, he's trying to uncover a conspiracy. Several Muslim teenagers and young adults have been set up to take the fall for terrorist bombings. Jason found out who's behind this but he still needs to gather evidence. Talia is here to help him. She is going to introduce him to her contact, a Russian expat who knows explosion and demolitions really well. Jason hopes that by studying under him, he will get the competencies needed to prove that a gang behind all this.

But while they wait, he asks that question. He can't not.

Before London, he was in Germany. It - it was bad. It took everything Jason had in him not to kill Eugene, the man who supplied children to a sex trafficking ring in Western Europe. But killing him would place the big fat dot on any hope of tracking the case further. Who were the buyers? Who were his backers? It's just important to find out as it was to take him off the board. So Jason handed him off to Interpol.

It didn't bring him any peace. He still wakes up at night, children's face gaping at him, cowering in fear. One face in particular, of a small, bi-racial boy from Vietnam, stands out in his memory. He remembers that face, and he hears Shiva's voice: " _ You got off easy _ ."

It could be his little brother, Jason thinks. And he will never even know.

So that's what prompts his question. He doesn't even really expect Talia to know anything. Shiva is one to keep her cards to the chest.

But then Talia waits for a heartbeat too long to say anything before she asks:

"Do you mean, Lady Shiva's other children?"

"Of course I mean her, who else?"

Bruce, the answer is painted on Talia's pained face. But she tried to talk to him about Batman before. Jason shut it down pretty quick.

Oh, now he knows what happened at Gotham. He knows that everyone is alright. There are even more kids around Batman now. Stephanie is still in the Robin suit, which makes him warm inside to think about. There's also Drake, who is, you guessed it, Tim Drake - it's dumb but it works for him, so. Good, he guesses. And there's Batgirl, a new one. That is what pisses Jason off. He hates her stupid sewen shut mouth and no eyes mask. And yeah, maybe Babs passed the mantle as he did with Steph. Maybe the girl even deserves it. It doesn't cancel that it wasn't supposed to happen. Barbara had to be the one holding that name until she chose to move onto the better things. Not being strong-armed into it because soaring among the skies just not an option anymore.

It pisses him off that it happened, now, a little more than a year after. Even more so than just right then. He doesn't know why. He doesn't know what changed. 

Because nothing did, and maybe that's the thing. Joker is still out on the streets, back in Arkham, out again. He made things a lot worse in the earthquake aftermath. To any he killed directly, there's a hundred dead because of No Man's Land. And he's still alive.

Nothing changed, because Bruce doesn't allow it to change.

Talia knows that. So it's pretty strange she has to ask.

"Yeah, I'm talking about Shiva," he says with suspicion. "What do you know?"

It may be a trick of the light, but Talia's eyes seem lighter than before. Relieved.

"I know that it wasn't her choice to have kids," she says. "She was made to carry to term. It was a condition for her freedom, issued by the man who captured her."

Jason shivers. Whoever it was, Jason knows at least that he must be dead, there's no way Shiva would have spared him, and for the first time, her murderous tendencies are a comfort. 

"He needed only one child, though, and she delivered two. One of them she left with him, the second one, the redundant one, she was told to throw away, or kill, do raise herself if she so pleases. He probably expected her to go for the second option. It's what I would have expected from her. But..."

"She gave me away to Willis," Jason finishes.

It would almost make sense, why Willis didn't really seem to care about him at all - he wasn't his son at all. But there was still Catherine, raising a strange child, not even her husband's, and loving it with all she was capable.

Talia nods.

"Do you know what became of the first child?"

"I do," she says. "I even know where you can find your sister. And I know you are not going to. It would take you to the place you don't wish to return."

His sister, as it turns out, in Gotham.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are hugely appreciated!  
> Also, come say hi to me on tumblr!


	4. Chapter 4

1) Cassandra is supposed to stay at Clocktower, if she's not on patrol. It's not one of Batman's golden rules, Steph doesn't think. Like always have a comm unit with you. Check in with Oracle at least once per night. Wear helmet - sorry, a  _ cowl _ .

It's just that Cassandra doesn't have anywhere to go.

Neither Steph, who lives in a dorm, nor Barbara, who has a one bedroom with a super lumpy couch, are viable candidates for being roommates. Neither is Dick, who lives in another city, or Tim, who lives with his parents. That still leaves one other option.

"Why don't you offer her your place?" Steph asks Bruce.

He looks at her with that blank stare that means you are dumb without reason and I am not going to spend a second if my highly valuable (multi-millionare here! I earn a minute more than you can do in a year!) time explaining why; use your imagination.

"You have the space!" Steph protests. "And yeah, I saw her eating, but your wallet can handle the addition to grocery bill."

He looks back at the screen of the Batcomputer, where's the simulation going. It's hard to predict individuals but on a large enough scale, people are easy to read. Just ask advertisers.

And that's kinda what they're trying to do, now. Black Mask's gang is unusually active lately, and it makes Batman even quieter than usual. This model is supposed to predict the probability of the full-out gang war. Steph still thinks they should have tried to bug his office instead. Like a reverse heist: you break into building to leave something behind, not take.

"I can rent her an apartment," Bruce says, after enough time passed. "Build her own Cave in the city."

Stephanie makes a show of thrusting her hands in the opposite directions.

"This is you," she says slowly, patiently. "And here's my point. She can't live on her own! She can't even talk! And how come you never offered to rent me an apartment? You know I hate to study at the dorm, there's always a party somewhere on the floor or my roommate sexiles me to the library or..."

"You can study here," Bruce interrupts her. "Before your training. I can quiz you."

Stephanie squints at him.

"No thank you, mister my-gap-year-is-twenty-years-and-counting. I don't want to juggle the books over the city and back every night. Besides, it's not even the issue. The issue you didn't even think to offer!"

That's the same look as before but milder. Stephanie takes it as encouragement.

"No,  _ that _ is not the issue either. Cass needs someone to look after her."

Bruce frowns. Not his "I don't understand how people emotions work" but his "you said something offensive and I wish I was in my Batsuit so I could punch you". He is actually in the suit, and he never punched Stephanie - or anyone except for criminals he's apprehending - so maybe she is missing something.

"Cassandra spent ten years on her own, and she grew up to be capable and resourceful young girl."

Steph puts her hands in the air.

"Wow, hoah, I am not saying she isn't smart or capable! But because she spent most of her life on her own, that's why she needs someone there for her, okay? Not for the job, like Babs, or to train and hang out with, like me or Tim. But in her corner. You get me?"

"I am in her corner."

By this point, Steph is sure he's willfully misunderstands her just so she could say it out loud and be that asshole.

Joke's on him, though. Stephanie is an asshole, it's an asset.

"I know it's only three months," she says carefully. "But you do know that loving Jason doesn't mean you can't take care of other kids who need it, don't you?"

It's too soon, Steph realizes as soon as his expression shuts down completely. But then again, she has a feeling it's always going to be too soon. And Cass needs intervention  _ now _ .

"She doesn't need me," Bruce says very evenly. "And she doesn't need you arranging things for her."

And yeah, maybe trying to get an adult to adopt your friend is a bit much. But Cass needs someone, and Stephanie knows she isn't enough.

2) How do you talk to someone who doesn't talk?

It takes some time to get used to it. Steph can’t read people like Bruce, or Cass herself. It makes it difficult to patrol together. Cass’ frustration is obvious on her face but not why. Stephanie can lament however long she wants about Cass rushing in without her but the point does not get across, or maybe Cass knows she doesn’t need her here, and non-verbal thing just makes it easier to ignore.

So Stephanie makes an extra effort. She goes to hang out with Cass during the day, on weekdays, if she doesn’t have work. She brings something with herself. First time, it was a nail kit, complete with the nail polish. Cass learns a new self-care skill, Stephanie learns that she has a steady hand and really boring color preference (black and yellow, classic Cass; bats on middle fingers are a nice touch though).

Next time, it’s a movie with French-dubbed “Lilo and Stitch”. It’s only fair for them both to watch something neither of them can understand a word of (Steph took Spanish in high school). Barbara is less pleased with them using her computer to watch a cartoon but then Stephanie suggests a Jackie Chan Adventures episode, she mutters, “What the hell” and orders pizza.

It becomes somewhat of a tradition. Even when a meta accidentally fills Cass’ head with words, they still have a movie night. And a book club of sorts, because Cass trades learning how to read for martial arts lessons to Steph.

It peters out completely when Shiva comes to town and beats Cass. After that, Cass schedule is train, patrol, train, patrol, train, patrol. It’s really hard to cajole her into spending time together doing something fun, and not something that makes your whole body feel like it’s killing you.

Or maybe it stops earlier. When a man, a guilty one, gets a needle, even if Cass promises that nobody would die that night.

Or maybe, it’s when after Shiva, Batman benches Batgirl, and has lengthy whispered conversations with Oracle. Nobody knows what about, except maybe Drake - he mentions Batman assigned him a job he can’t tell anyone about. He lifts a ban on Batgirl soon, but… The easiness between him and Cass is gone, now. And there’s no easiness in Cass at all.

Or maybe, it’s when Steph starts digging, finds the tapes, and realizes that nothing she can say to her friend is going to help. Because there is only one person whose word Cass would trust on this matter.

3) It doesn’t go great, with Bruce.

“She’s killing herself!” she shouts that night at Bruce. “You see that, right? You’re not, like, terribly stupid? Do you just hate kids that love you more than they love themselves?”

He growls.

“I’m trying to help her. It’s better if she gets it out of her system. Then, she can move on. Otherwise, her guilt is going to drag her down.”

“What fucking guilt? What did she do, what she has to repent for?”

“I know you’re not stupid, Stephanie. I know you know who her father is, you can figure out how he raised her.”

“It’s not on her! She has nothing to be guilty about! But she doesn’t listen to me, she doesn’t listen to Babs. Because since you got the tapes, you treat her as a leper!”

“I never, not for a second, believed that the tape was real. It was just something David Cain made up to rattle me and make me... let go of her.”

Oh, that is precious.

“You so full of shit,” she says, in awe. “Never believed? That’s why you never talked to her about it? No, you’re  _ afraid _ . You’re afraid that it’s true. And you’re not okay with this.”

“It is  _ not _ .” His voice has a threatening edge to it. Like Arthur’s, when Steph was fed up enough to talk back to him. It means  _ shut up or  _ else. “I doubted my other child when I had to stand by him. I’m never making that mistake again.”

It’s an indecipherable guttural sound that escapes Steph instead of words. She literally sways forward, squeezing her fists and then back, catching herself in time.

“He didn’t do it!”

“I know!” he shouts back.

“But she did! She did, Bruce, but she was a child, for fuck’s sake. Six years old. It wasn’t  _ her  _ fault. And you treating it as it is - that’s exactly the problem. You feel guilty over what happened to Jason...”

“Don’t.”

“And you overcorrect. I get it! I do. What  _ you  _ don’t get... She’s a good person. The best. And for some reason, she loves - or, I don’t know, respects the hell out of you. One word from you would mean so much! And nothing from me and Barbara does. But you, you refuse her that support. Because, what? Her being a victim of child abuse is apparently her fault? Makes her morally corrupt? That’s what you thought of Jason, didn’t you!”

“Do not say another word, I warn you, Spoiler.”

“I am  _ Robin _ ,” she hissed. “ _ He _ gave that to me when  _ you  _ turned away from him. You stand right there you stood when you cried for him, for all the mistakes you made with him. But you know what? His death wasn’t your fault. But Cassandra, if she manages to kill herself on the path of ‘redemption’ you put her on with all your “we must be better' bullshit? That will be on you.”

“You are wrong.”

He shifted, so he was not looming anymore. Steph breathed out. 

But he was not done.

“If I try to forbid it, the battle she owes to Shiva, she’s just going to do it anyway. If I push, she will push back… just like Jason did. And, just like with Jason, I am going to lose her too.”

“What happened to him was an accident,” she said slowly. “What’s going on with Cass now, is preventable. Don’t shut her out.”

She leaves not knowing if she made an impact or not. But at her room, when she looks at her bag which contains Robin uniform, she thinks long and hard. Bruce seems to see Jason’s ghost everywhere. She’s not enabling it, wearing this uniform? She doesn’t know. 

Should she stop?

But she misses him. It’s not honoring his last wishes or whatever, what makes her still wear that red, green and yellow costume. It’s what it reminds her those short months she knew him. And it’s harder, with time passing, to recall specific things he said or how his smile looked. She doesn’t want to lose him though.

She keeps the suit.

4) Bruce gets better with Cass. There’re adoption papers. There are tutors and speech therapist. There are a legal name and contemporary dance classes. No school, because Cass doesn’t seem interested, and a trust fund in her name makes it not a life and death situation. They may have even had a talk, Steph isn’t sure, but she knows sometimes Black Canary visits, once or months or so, just to talk to Cass. Like a therapy, but off the books.

Cass gets better, period, or maybe she hides her feelings better, because there’s still a wall, sometimes, between her and the rest of the world. She still doesn’t really do anything with her time unrelated to Batgirl, except for the dancing school, but even there she doesn’t meet anyone.

Barbara and Stephanie try to make her come out of her shell. Sometimes it works. Babs takes her to clubs - maybe she can’t dance all that well anymore, but she still is able to appreciate the music and concerts. Steph invites Cass to come to some of her classes as a listener. They both take her shopping. Or, is it Cass who takes them shopping? Seeing how she has a Wayne credit card where the sky’s limit, and Steph is a college student and Babs pours all her funds into her operations.

Steph skips the cruise, though. She has mid-terms, she can’t just leave. She regrets it immensely now. And not because their vacation turned into bust, where not one but two international criminals were apprehended (one of them tried to kill another). Because Cass met someone there.

Babs tells her a little about that when they are out in the street clothes, drinking milkshakes. Cass is sulking.

“There was a guy,” Babs says, rolling her eyes. “There was, actually, several.”

“Oooooh,” Steph croons.

“Uh-huh,” Babs nods though Cass grimaces and slurps her shake too loud. “One. Tall, dark and dangerous. Black Wind, you remember getting briefed about him?"

Steph nods.

"The international terrorist, yes. Is that why Bruce sent you there?"

"Possible. He knew about the hit on the Tarakstan oligarch, couldn't apprehend people responsible in Gotham, sent his agents undercover so deep they didn't know it themselves? Sounds like him alright. But he didn't need to bother. The other guy Cass met was, wait for it,  _ Superboy _ !"

"Huh." 

She glances at Cass. Cass hides her eyes but her cheeks are pink. She’s embarrassed!

"Yep. But it's not all. She even made a normal friend!"

“A criminal, a hero, and a civilian?” Steph throws her hands in the air. “ Bingo!”

"Not a friend," Cass insists sullenly. "A jerk."

"Ha! Yes, he was. From what Cass told me, he tried to shield her with his body when the bullets started flying."

Babs looks at her with wide-open eyes and spreads her hands, like: can you  _ believe  _ the guy?

“What did you do?” Steph asks Cass.

Cass smirks.

“Nerve strike.”

Steph shivers. Nerve strike was one unpleasant experience. 

“Yeah, doesn’t sound like they left on particularly friendly terms, Babs, I don’t know.”

“But before that!” Barbara insists and turns to Cass. “I leave you alone for five seconds, and when I get back, I see you talking with him - and so I back off. But I timed you, you talked for half an hour before the shooting started!”

“Wow,” Steph says, insanely hating that jerk suddenly. “What did you guys even talked about?”

Cass shrugs.

“Nothing.”

For half an hour? Steph doesn’t buy it. It shows in her body language, probably, because Cass’ face softens.

“He talked. I listened.” She makes a gesture with her hands,  _ nothing more _ .

“But what did you guys talk about?”

Cass shrugs.

“He said he didn’t like my suit. Then he asked if I’m alone. Then he saw Barbara and apologized.”

“And then?..” Steph leans forward.

That couldn’t be all, could it?

“Shooting starts. He tries to interfere. I disable him. I apprehend Black Wind. Superboy helps.” Cass makes frustrated noise in her throat. “What did he want?”

“The guy? I think he tried to pick you up? I don’t know, some guys think insulting a girl’s appearance is a sure way to get her to like them or whatever. It doesn’t make sense, I know. The guy obviously wasn’t good at it either.”

“No. Black Wind… flirted. To distract me, yes, but also wanted to. Conner, he wanted to kiss me. This guy… Was angry with me, and then he wasn’t. But I don’t know what he wanted.”

Steph looks at Barbara but finds her looking back at Steph just as confused. Cass usually is pretty great at figuring out signals other people’s throw at her, subconsciously. Except maybe when it’s Steph - or, maybe she just ignores it because she doesn’t want to let Steph down gently.

But there isn’t anything else Steph could think of that the guy could have wanted, approaching Cass like that. Except…

“He was with you the whole time before Black Wind made his move? And he tried not to let you go after him. Maybe he was trying to distract you. Maybe… Maybe they were working together?”

Barbara presses a thumb and a finger to her chin. 

“You know what, let me check the list of passengers. I didn’t get a good look at him, could you describe him to me?”

Cass does even better and uses the facial composite software. Stephanie’s blood runs cold when she sees the result. Barbara’s too, by the look of it.

“He looks like…” Cass starts. “I did not notice that. Was watching the target. But he looks like…”

_ Jason Todd _ , thinks Stephanie.

“David Cain,” Cass says.

**Author's Note:**

> [Send ](https://redjaybathood.tumblr.com/) me a prompt/headcanon/idea/question about when the fuck I am going to finish any of the dozen WIPs I currently have.  
> Comments are extremely welcome too!


End file.
